mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
