grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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