smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
