Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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