How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
