Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
