Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize