i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
