Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
