she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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