haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
