I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize