Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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