We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What did we do last night that was yellow?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Need sex. Gaining weight.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
