I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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