Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your shirt... Was in my pants
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
