I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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