Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
