When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
