I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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