I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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