I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
