i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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