I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
