@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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