ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
