Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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