We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
