I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
