i was born a porn star she said
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
tell me about the eggs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
