She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
