Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
