Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
