I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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