kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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