One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
