Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
