I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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