Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Randomize
