Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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