It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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