she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
