They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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