she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
