So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The best revenge is premature balding
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
