u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
