You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
