i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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