Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
