Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize