Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
