Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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