I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
