Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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