You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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