I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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