whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
honey bunches of taint.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize