My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I know her cup size but not her name....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
