I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
