i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
