Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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