I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
