And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
