I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize