Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
