Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
